Shining Our Light

Photo credit to Cheri Reidy, who accompanied me in the burning.

A year ago, I decided to burn many of my journals. It was a dramatic act, and it echoed the intensity of what I was experiencing. I was receiving treatment for my second cancer diagnosis in five years and was in the middle of 6 rounds of chemotherapy. Fire once again surged through my veins. At that time, I reflected on the writings from poet Mark Nepo in which he speaks of truly inhabiting our destination—of being fully present in our lives. He urges us to commit to life itself.

As I watched the fire consume my words, years of memories and writing were reduced to ash. This was a deliberate cleansing, a ritual to release what no longer served me. I pondered Nepo’s invitation to engage in life.  So much is unpredictable, yet even amidst uncertainty, we can open space to what truly brings vitality. What is our spark in this whole messiness of being human?

This year’s flame is much gentler than before. Through my journal writing, I explore what brings light into my life—not only in grand gestures, but in quiet, simple moments. I reflect on how I, too, can bring light to the world. Sometimes a small flame looks so insignificant in comparison to roaring fires. But it is this smaller flame that I flourish in. The world can be cruel, and yet even amidst injustices, we are surrounded by many simple acts of generosity. I take time to count my blessings and ponder the question: What acts of kindness go unnoticed? How do I attune to these gentle sparks, rather than being consumed only by the fires that bring me to my knees? And I give thanks to all the people who offer their own beautiful flame to this suffering world.